I am very much alive, but life had some #priorities that need much attention. Spring semester was crazy. I was full time at work, and enrolled a full load of courses at school. And since those were not enough to fill my calendar, I was also studying for my upcoming MCAT whenever I got the time during the past semester. But sadly, I had next to none, which led mo to postponing my exam on May 17 to September 10. That way, I can focus on my 3 remaining hardcore science classes, and I got the summer to study for that bad boy. Downside though is that, I’ll be getting my result around October, and it would only be then that I could fully submit my application for this application cycle which already started accepting applicants on June 7.

Many people who have gone through this process have been discouraging me to apply that late because the probability of me getting accepted, or even getting secondary application or interviews would be very slim, for the very reason that most schools have selected their candidates at that time. Unless I rock the MCAT, then schools may give me a chance, which I probably won’t knowing how merciless this exam can be. I will potentially be wasting money if I insist on applying this cycle.

On top of that, I also need to shadow physicians as it is required to have letters of recommendation from an MD/DO, and work on my extra curricular activities (volunteering, active participation at some greeks I’ve joined). So my calendar for the past months after my spring break have been pretty much filled, Monday to Sunday. If you don’t see me at work, you’ll probably see me at school, or at some local coffee shops that do not give a damn no matter how long I hog their tables, and abuse their wifi and electricity. I really need to, as my pre-med classmate would say, “hustle!”.

I’m currently enrolled on a Live review with Kaplan which cost an arm and a leg, but maybe this would motivate me to really bust my a** for this exam to get my money’s worth. I have just finished my diagnostic my exam couple of hours ago, and scored a 494, which is 16 points away from my target goal, or worse comes to worst, I hope to at least a 500 which is the cut off of many medical schools I intend to apply to.

I’m really on the verge of breaking down. I’m nervous as f***, but I really do not see myself doing anything else, and if I will not do anything about it, I will hate myself one day when I start asking “what if I had done something about my dream?” and all I can then was to look at the bright side, if there is any. Hopefully, this journey of mine to being a physician will start soon, as I have so many plans to do once I got those letters behind my name.